Ask Dr. Mitch

Dear Dr. Mitch,

I'm eighteen years old and I've been a dancer in a successful, crowded strip bar in Houston, TX. I have only had one boyfriend in my entire life. He was my grade school sweetheart. we were virgins an discovered sex together.

Since my moving into the big city, he became jealous, mean, verbally, emotionally and eventually physically abusive. So that was that! I do miss him, but I honor myself too much to be hit by anyone, least of all a man!

Here is my question. I've had two other sex partners since the break up. I'm not sure I've ever had an orgasm! I mean, I get wet, and it feels good, but I know I am not feeling what the girls in the dressing room are describing. I know what it feels like to be in love. I know what it feels like to desire someone. But I've never had that "earth shattering experience," "bells ringing," or "out of breath" feeling, etc. Dr. Mitch, is there something wrong with me? or am I really missing out?


My dear, dear girl,

Yes! You are missing out! Have you never masturbated? I mean, that's the one way for sure that you're going to know you came! And it's the best way to know yourself, so when you're with someone you can instruct them, or position yourself in the best way to knock your lights out.

Here's how to start: Take a mirror- off the wall or a hand mirror - big enough to see your pussy and asshole. Put it on the floor or prop it up somewhere you can get a good look at yourself. Pull back the little set of lips. The little bump, of course, is your clit. This is one type of orgasm. It's called a "clitoral orgasm." Play with that tiny nub until it becomes full and pink or purple. Fantasize, or put it under the bathtub faucet, or get a vibrator. Then you will definitely know what coming is! Also, it'd be wise to get a dildo and know how to fuck yourself so you can have a "vaginal orgasm." And eventually, of course, you can experiment with anal sex. But that's a whole other topic.

Now, going back to the mirror, put two fingers in, now push toward your belly button. Approximately three inches in, about where your fingertips are, is your "G-Spot" (It's called G-Spot because a Doc named Grafenburg discovered where it is). That is a warm wonderful feeling, and if you play it right, you can have both a clitoral and vaginal orgasm!! Then you'll be hooked for sure. But be careful! Don't get "auto eroticized" to the point where you cannot respond to the human touch. A lot of women get this way when they become too reliant upon vibrators and such. One more thing my lil' turnip, if you've only been with men, you may want to explore sex with some of your girlfriends. The reason you may not have been able to come could be that you are gay or even better, bisexual. Then you can have the best of both worlds!! Have at it, my dear. The world is your oyster!